When we are young, most of us live rather unexamined lives. We grow up in a time and place, become acculturated to the mores and norms of our society. We are young and things have no past or resonance. Then there is the transformational event; a love affair (or war). This event is an epiphany and shows us that there is a whole world hitherto undiscovered. This event changes us. These periods do not usually last; a lover leaves, the war ends.  At first we deny the end, we desperately try to recapture what has been lost. Afterwards is a time of sorrow and melancholy. This may lead to behaviors to numb the pain; alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.  We gradually intellectualize the fact that the past has been taken, but cruel hope occasionally strikes in odd, irrational ways. After awhile we re-assemble new norms, new expectations of how the world is and what to expect from it. This usually invokes solitude as a coping mechanism. We then proceed to live as automatons, grinding out our days. Eventually we get comfortable in the new mode. What sometimes happens, however is a ghost from the past appears and we are suddenly forced to confront what we have become. This causes a sickness unto death.